and is it considered as a disaster or a bliss?
everytime people comment on me and how mass communication is for low intelligence human being,
i get flared up,but i keep my silence.
cause i know what i want, what i desire for.
it is weird when i first get to know mass communication.
i remember when the time i am in foundation in mass communication
i was a dungu who know nothing,looking naive and believe in all the hopes and beauties in this world.
i study for a year, just doing some assignments, some projects, community works.
but i am not satisfied.
or shall i say,
i havent find the fire,the passion i have for this course.
follow up by my mum questioning session that hurt me deeply"i dont know what the hell are you learning in this course?you are so free!!! look at your neighbour's daughter,she is studying law..blablabla..."
i doubt i choose the right course.
i thought i should be taking up lawyer, to be what my parents wanted me to be.
sometimes it is a miracle for me,
to re-discover my inner passion towards mass communication.
i am once again a newbie when i get into degree programme.
all over again..orientation and stuff.
it is way different compare to foundation.
i found my passion.
i found my dreams.
i found my aim in my life.
The first time that strucks my head will be a 1 minute presentation by Ms Natasha.
1 minute to think.and 1 minute to present.
my head went blank.i go nervous.
but i tell myself i can do it.
bring it on hsl.
so i just present whats on my head, and it come out unexpectedly better than i think.
when i walk back to my seat, my adrenalin still rushing and my breathe is so fast, that i feel thrilled!
thrilled to stand in front to present to everyone, showing the world what i have got inside that you never know.that you wrongly perceive me.
i am not just a baby face look girl with a baby attitude.
i have my own attitude.
Since then......................
When i am dealing with assignments, classes, and interesting topics,drama acting,
i am truly amazed by them.
It is weird i have such a deep passion towards communication and issues around the society. I am in love with rhetoric and how it evolves, reconstruct, and it is a whole new world out there. Nothing is stagnant, and we hold the power to change the world,set the trend and what i wanted the most, bring new hope to the world.
the inner passion has pushed me to work harder, to appreciate all the philosophy and theories.
Arts are mend to be appreciated and it is all about free styling.
i am a person who dont like boundaries,
i need freedom in my life.and i want to be who i am.
I feel the power when i presenting in front.
i wanted to do more.i wanted to improve,i wanted to be a good presenter.
although it has a lot of flaws.
i am not as bright as some of them,
but i have the sense of satisfaction when i look at my work.
i gain confidence as i progress in semester 1.
now i am in semester 2 and the work load is double, perhaps triple compare to semester 1.
nevertheless it is an interesting semester as it has media literacies to talk about media and its culture,global society that makes you understand the social construction of this world.
i am in love with readings that make you discover a lot of things that you never know.
of course, not all the reading.
and works that strike me to challenge me to do better in it.
my main concern is not the grade that i will get, but is all the knowledge i will be getting.
appreciating the beauty of this world as it changes so tremendously without human noticing.
and yes, make me realise life is full of expectation.
Although expectation might not come up to be what i have imagined, but i will still strongly believe in it.
sigh.
i think this is a kind of expression for a person who over stress here by assignment.
p/s: meeting my lao poS tomorrow =D ....(level stress reduced)
EDITED : suddenly flashback to some past experience, just want to tell all of you.
i wont overpower by my passion.
my love oneS are more important than my dream.
lub lub is all around ^0^ [6:20pm]
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