dum spiro, spero...

the title simply means -while i breath, i hope-, Latin sentence.
the sudden crave to explore classicism, way back to the history and language seems to have an intimate relationship with me swt.
cobby web blog again,yet i like it to be in this way.never once do i like to be put in the middle of the spotlight,or i shall say it can cause nervous-ness in me.
I just like to live in my own small place,sheltered, covered, secured. and not even my closest family member can come in.
being emo right now, and feel liek typing it out, this feeling is so fimiliar with the time when i was drunk (ah, that caramel chocolate taste like wine), a bit dizzy wizzy, mustbe the stupid dumb ass-ness anti itchy pill that just eaten hours ago,the after effect of it i guess.
college is starting soon and everything resume back to the normal mode.
however it is another way of viewing it after a year and half in this course.
i starting to think, to fear, to ponder.
I think about the changes in me after i enrolled in this course as i am getting more and more anti social,mind you,is an anti social communication student, contradiction detected.
I fear because my pride still hurt the oneS i care for, unintentionally, it always easy to say something out, then you regret what you have said as it hurts, deep down, i try to change but the pride seems to be in my blood, my vein, controlling it,its improving, i hope, i guess.
I ponder because my future as is a complete blank sheet, i am searching for it but right now i am totally clue-ness, not forgetting i need to take a lot of things into consideration as the reality keeps reminding me passion come first, but before that money is the ultimate answer for everything,for my family, at least.

For people i might be wasting my holidays by doing nothing,but indeed i did a lot, more to self discovery,again?
as i gradually grow up i just realised i am that kinda person who like to think about life and balance up my characters with the nature.
and most of all the saddest tragic happen in this whole life process is i give up on a lot of things, expectations, hopes, faith, truth, justice, friends, relationship.
everything i mentioned above is just something potray to u in fairy tales, get back to beauty and the beast cinderella snow white, hey, i just realised it is all imaginative figure create by people, even my cousin sisters dont believe in it.
as for friends, the thing i give up about it is the failure to make new friends, or i am intentionally avoiding the chance to meet new friends because i know it takes time to build up a a new friendship. maybe i just plainly know if you are true enough and sincere to be my friends, the friendship will blossom through times rather than keep hoping the friendship will last till the end of the life in the way you want.

or maybe sometimes you are hoping and you didnt know you are doing it and suddenly a 100kg hammer bang hard on my head and wake up from my drowsy sleep, realising i am building castle in the air again.
sigh. dum spiro, spero.
i only wont hope if i dont breathe,
but its impossible for that to happen.
ok,enough of emo-ing here, should think of something happy.

for example : my new school bag. @_@
(i like to called it 'school bag' rather than 'college bag' because it got those back to school feel!
a tiny whiny miny hope of mine : a better semester ahead!
i learn to cherish every moment in my college life, because i only got 1 and half year to go if i dont fail any subject larh, so fast! time flies *cough cough like old man remembering old time look*

Holiday Getaway, the scandalous part.

So.....the most exciting part of my holiday getaway.
the scandolous part.we are always being scandalous btw,trying to rape people especially each other wtf -_-ll
and also some of the pictures from the trip and onggie's b day celebration.
i am just plain lazy to update,holiday is sooooo boring,and it doesnt mean in a negative way.
i loveeeeeeee boring holidays!
because i can just have am empty brain forthe whole day and do whatever i wanna do in my house.
it is good because everything you do is everything what you think,and there's no time constraint and stuff.
my favourite doings in the moment: lying on the bed like dead body, cleaning my wardrobe again and again to make it spacious HAHA,cleaning the house etc etc.

due to my shopping spree i have prohibited myself from going out too much cause i cant control my spending!
i just have to spend on at least something,or even a box of plaster will makes me feel not so empty.
god,i am insane T_T
ok,ok.lets go to the holiday time a week before. (i go out from monday till friday for the whole week).
gaaaaa....money flowing out like waterfall,not water ok,is waterfall T_T

penjodoh bilangan for this food : satu wok ice sila mari.

night view of kl

my uncle's service apartment,didnt cook anything at the end ler...

yum zai have a good time staying at my uncle's apartment also,hanging in the kitchen..

the toilet of the apartment is totally...transparent.lol.we are so happy because we can peep each other when we bath swt.

poser 1

poser 2

the most scandolous part: onggie is fainted cause lcy give her the sleepy pill,and she is preparing for the 'night'

strawberry parfait from sushi zanmai!!finally i can eat it!!!!!love~

the Taman Pertanian bimbo trip,rent the wrong type of bicycle,wear the wrong type of clothing,then people thought we are bimbo what the...

splendid expression.lol

onggie ham sap.  @_@

a snapshot of lcy,she looks happy here.random and happy.or 3 8.

onggie's b day celebration at BBQ plaza, BTS. she is eating,but she act as if she is cleaning the house dot dot

actresses of the year

ah nia always look at the camera at the right time with the right expression.ish..... =p

beaniez & CM reunion. =)

holiday getaway...

People always say college life is busier.and this is the first time i have a holiday that is bu-busier than college. monday till friday i am going out.meeting up,conversations,shopping with popo,b day celebration. my lai yi said i am busier than a businesswoman with my little black book diary full of appointments.hahahaha.

tomorrow will be my holiday getaway,and i can say i am certainly looking forward to it although it is just.......so nearby swt.
my Redang is cancelled, Penang plan 2 also jeopardized, so last minute i come out with a trip to----------->Taman Pertanian Shah Alam for the four season thingy.
sorry for those i promised, i will sure go with you all for the second time =p

in a way let me be the white rat to try the place dulu lorh and tell you all the wonderful experience. (p/s: i have brought mosquitoes repellent just in case got i go there and feed them with my blood.)
hope it will be a nice wn lorh. no time to update on onggie's b day celebration cause pc lagging. just a picture before i off to pack my baggies.

onggie sakit kepala when 6 of us reunited,loudest,most disturbing table.again.it has become a norm. ^-^

oh ya.where am i staying? my uncle's service apartment.
yadah.thrilled. *a bit of sarcasm* poolside yam cha at night!!~ and the bath tub is back in the right place.the toilet is the jing dian of all.stay tune stay tune!happy hols people. =)

Stupidity

I write a lot just now.
and then i just press Alt A.
Ponder.
.
.
Delete.

Yeap, the whole thing i have written whole heartedly is gone.
I dont want to hurt those i cherish unintentionally.
That this, this is the last straw and get your ass f off my territory.
sheer stupidity.

I am now in super low tolerance level.
Dont ever provoke me unless you wanting to commit suicide in a creative way,which is to provoke me.dot.

Anyway,lets talk about the happy part.
meet my pet brother for these two days and have a good time catching up with each other life.it is weird.when two individuals from different world come together and have a chat and find similarities.but at the same time i have that feeling again.
that.
a feeling tickle from the bottom of my heart.
when words coming out of my mouth,the way i walk,how i am confident,perhaps too confident with myself,and most suprisingly,i am comfort by having casual conversation and all the self conscious just gone with the wind.wao,i must say,in my heart i am delighted, tickles my heart and telling me the changes in me is in a good direction.

anyway back to the topic, the similarities between me and my pet bro is the sarcasm that we both shared.
omfg i love it to the bits.swt.it is a kind of understanding in a certain joke and i supposed when dealing with real jokes, instead of laughing you will just put on a quick smile which can be driven away easily, but left a mark in the memories.this makes me think of Shahid's joke.cool.swift.and sarcastic.I really enjoy the companion and the conversations we have.It is random to see myself talking in such a relaxing mode too.i have been closing myself up too long.till the extend when i open up my heart all the emotions have left, life has been putting much pressure me, resisting me from believing but i guess it is not a bad thing also,it makes me think and yet.i said this verse again, "in a way",i sense there's something missing.

Something.