There's no answer for future.

I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

Gilda Radner (1946 - 1989)


happy ending is a lie, and we learn through pain, and survive, be strong with the support of friends.
sometimes i am so scared that i will lost contact with my loves one,my dearly beaniez cm,
and life seems so wonderful, but at the same time our road are diverging and heading towards different direction,different dreams.
its impossible to walk back to the old times, neither we wnated to do that too.
but despite the hecticness, we still can find time to be together,although sometimes flare up case might happen.
everytime when the world give up on me, dissapoint me,
i have you to stand beside me and never do i feel lonely because of distance, the less contact.

i wont deny the fear i have, the nightmares, sleepless night when i think i cant lose you in my life,
when i need you to support me, be by my side, and be a part of me.

but after all,
i know those who are really true,
will stand till the very last minute and never go away.
i know i am the trouble maker, and yet i still see hope, or wake up in time before i fall into another trap of human evil nature.
just bear with me, i am helpless too.
am i really that good in communicating?
when sometimes what i really care about cant be expreseed, and dealing it with the wrong way.


maybe we dont have enough time to spend with each other,
but i believe, and i have faith in keeping this relationship till the end of my life.
a promise.
for me.
to my family and mostly,
beaniez cm.


love,
hsl

Finally!! all the pictures and hsl-ness.

Sighness.i know i am famous for my m.i.a.
ya,i am a self confessed nerd and sometimes i find it hard to express myself through words.
my god, i know some of the people who read this sure want to slap me,cause sometimes i talk too much until people want to shut my mouth T_T
okok.
so this is a part of what happen during my m.i.a session.

finish Princess Hour. SOB. they look so sweet together. if they were ony prince and princess in this world, which is so impossible *daydreaming again*

8tv Field Trip "One in a Million", first time in live show....syok!!!

Media Prima Trip, Sue May Ban Zhang and dou dengs secondary school field trip feel swt.

FOOD FOOD.omg FOOD. this is the BEST duck i ever taste. really,come Serdang people, and i will bring you makan =p

HSL aunty hair

POB class, as usual punya productive,as in take picture and being selekeh in class

erm,due to my clumsy-ness, i hit my leg on my car (i also duno why my leg wil suddenly hit d lo), then gt this thing for a whole week. T_T

cha siew B Day~ 

the world class photographer,taking picture by lying down together with the tripod -_-ll

IDM production,i like this pic la,show my leg so nice,heels so nice~~~ *bimbo-ing*

syok sendiri meditation and relaxation at home. home made scramble egg is d best hoho

pool side party~~ certainly UNFORGETABBLE.haha.caramel bailey.i remember you forever.

papa john!!!

look at the cheese omg. pizza hut, close shop la you,sooner or later.

my small boyfriend who love me so much nowadays *shy*

like this pic a lot!!!!  first time take photo with popo and zhang wei together *so touching omg i feel like crying*


May Babies B day celebration and gathering. sam pat-ness still the same =p

i think this pic is plain funny and stupiak,i dunno what gui ling gou is doing,lying flat and waiting for people to rape him punya feel swt.

WOOT. my newest investment in fashion. =p =p =p happy tersangat!

the last pic, love from hsl <3

i think thats for the hsl-ness for now.
till next time!

Inspired.

Personally I have struggled massively with the dilemma of talent vs desire. Choosing desire may not always be the easiest thing to do. It may seem a waste to leave those natural talents behind and strike out in a new direction. But at least you’ll feel alive. 

Meri Williams, Talent vs Desire, 05-29-06

Life is cuteness..

i also duno wth is my topic about swt.
just venting again.the last minute POB clas cancellation dont make me happy.
maybe because i still mind the grde for my assignment.

bah~~~~
call me a nerd larh, call me kiasu people, call me damn *itch damn freako girl who study so much and haha get this kinda grade la.
i am really feeling down again.
and for once i get fed up and feel like running away.
never do i feel like running away is such a great solution, leaving everything behind.
but this is just not me.however, i wont stand up like before again.
the self pride is killing me.i know.this is something i get from my family.and i am adjusting it bit by bit.
change my attitude towards my work.
and do my best regardless of the result.

wao,say until like i am such a noble person huh.
well, i havent reach until that extend la.
i am a goddamn nerd that care a lot, indeed study is my first priority when i will kill everybody when they get into my way swt.
chill.chill.i am using hyperbole.
but frankly speaking, is not that i want to be a nerd and disregard all the fun in life, the problem is, i do not know how to enjoy life, as in....
my life is in my hand and i am fighting for it.
i am using rm60k for education and it is hell hard earn money, and i am not wasting it by enjoying my life la of cause.
well, in another perspective, everybody have their own life and here we know how people act and response differently towards the art of life.
at least for now,i am contentted to the current situation and sibeh-ness just come for a few seconds.ngekngek


the same old expectation.
the same old damn shit dissapointment.

sighness....all the cute-ness in my life.
however, feel happy balik when i feel that there's other thing that i am capable of besides being a nerdy zai.
and quite suprised to meet new friends from a steamboat session with lcy's frens.
or more like love rivals pulak swt.


life is so in cute-ness.
maybe when things come less expected is the best, a bliss or a disaster.you name it.


p/s: my blog lack of picture la omg...got so many things i want to show but lazy to take camera. T_T
till next time~~

Sribble

Ya, for the first time i feel like writing.again.
with my blunt english *bah.....~*
but i really beh tahan liao.like volcano gonna explode.
*cough*cough* is some thoughts ok, i am not the old HSL that flared up easily luu. =p
as time goes by,i live with more and more uncertainties.
i need to think about my assignments datelines, my substance, my grades, my future..blabla..
and the word 'substance' keep running on and on in my head.
is growing up a fear?
affirmative i can say.

I am confused with my future.
when my passion contradicts with my natural chrateristic.
i love communication,i love sociology, physchology.
i love the way knowledge is building up bit by bit like a pyramid, and i am gaining something that i never imagine of,
self satisfaction through life appreciation.

arts play an important role in my life now.
i cant live without music,it express better than verb,noun,adjective stuff.
i can just count on it and i never feel better after successfuly play a music piece.

I love to talk,i am talkative, sometimes i am even crazy.
but sometimes for now, i love spending time with myself.all alone.
it gives me the tranquility, the serenity.
and the best companion when i am alone: a book.
i dig in and i explore the world of abstract.
i know myself more.i know sometimes people scare to be alone.
paiseh larh, walk alone like no friend blabla.
but now i know, true friends live in hearts, not with physical existence.
and ya,i learn how to go with the flow.

neither am i thinking or expecting too much for things to happen in my way.
its ok if things come out the other way round, and it i weird how things come back to you when you less expected.

and last but not least,
i miss my beaniez and cm.
a lot.
for a long time, i have been living in my own world and grow up.
but how little i know it will be meaningless without you all.

dear life,
it is weird i am born as a human instead of any other things in this world.
it is a gift and a curse.
something that cheer me up,

Yesterday is history, Future is a mystery.
and today is a present.

that's why it is named as "present"

from KungFu Panda, isn't communication magnificient?

In love......dillemma.

sigh.so frustrated about assignments right now.
but the brain cant stop thinking about guys also T_T
keep floating in my head omg, both of them are too cute to be resist.
and so different at the same time.
for those who watch this Korean Drama, who you think is better le?

Shin Goon, the cool guy that alwats tease ChaiJing and make her feel bad, and then curi curi guan xin her at the back

or.......

Yul Goon, omg this is the first guy with dye hair that i soooo likey.really yang guang feel @_@...his smile melts people and the care he gives....

so who should i choose le
ok,stop daydreaming la omg!!!!!
i should be dreaming of Barack Obama and his economic stimulus package.
and my "beloved" miss Yoges.
(seems so cam oledi,all my daydream become bubbles)

hmmm,i wonder there's really such guy in this world.
and everytime i stress i watch this drama my brain will go TOOT again.
singing the song,swinging the chair like sor poh T_T



now in episode 7......shin goon went to ChaiJing house and laughing my ass off, so sweet and gan cheong looking at them,and how love comes in quietly between them. not forgeting all Chai Jing super clumsy act omg.waiting for this scene above le @_@ .......

stupid Goong.make me got this kinda drama love sick-ness again.

concentrate.concentrate -meditation pose-(while watching Goong T_T )

*slapping self*

Thought-less

Trying to type.
but i lost my word.
shattering thoughts.that i dont want to explain.
neither i want to reveal.
changes keep occuring,and i am in fear.
stress-nya.

Assignments linig up until the end of April.
everyday busy until at night, and then sleep like pig.


p/s: dear robber, if you want to rob me can rob me when i sleep,cause i sure wont wake up, or bother to wake up to catch you because of the tired-ness.

Renaissance

i know i am a lame-mo person. not saying i have no life, but i love the feeling of being a famous stalker.
(people famous blogger, i famous stalker pulak wtf)

ya, going back to the story of stalking, i stalk sweatlee, fourfeetnine and the latest will be pinkpau.
get particular emo-ed by pink pau latest post.
(all with link wan ok,in case apa cakap i curi content blablabla,it is so trend in the internet world for plagarism besides than our assignments haha)

I think i never really have an official annoucement for my erm....a year ago break up.
i just totally shut down my previous blog and ran into a new life,fitting in as soon as possible.
but after a year,i guess now i am ready enough to talk about this.  
to the world, or maybe some sort of having an explaination rather than people keep guessing and discussing my problem behind my back when yam cha session.

Yup, so the breakup of me and wormy (last time i used to call him this name, lame lame,i know)
Back at that time i am still a girl who are enjoying her first love although all signs signals of this disastereous case happen.
Until today,i still cant imagine why this decision will come out...from him.
The reason is because we are tired, and there's no more love within that we can hold on to.
Ya,i keep thinking why oh why, the very person who give me hopes, shed me love, pouring me with sweetness and making me believe in fairy tale,
is the same person who destroy my life in a few second.

Sorry,i know i am still not mature enough back at that time.

I was thinking, if you hang on longer and bare with my immaturity, we can archieve eternity.
You didnt, and i let go.
and after a year, now i see things clearly, and i glad he made the decision that i never dare to make and set us free. 

Sometimes,
breakup is the end of a chapter, and lets continue to the next path way of life.

I am more mature right now, and i am standing on my own without relying on anyone.
I learn to be happy by myself without falling head over heels a person regardless of how much burden he can bae despite the busy-ness of the course.
and the most i get from this,
i have indeed love my family and my friends more.

I never regret loving him and he is indeed a realy good boyfriend back then, that allow me to be myself, and always be there for me, being the one and only tree for me to prevent me from getting hurt.
I love you. I love-d you.
wtf i havent said this word for a year already omg.

and yup, if this ex boyfriend of mine is reading this le (dunno will read anot la, but imagine la ok =p ) , thanks for the memories, and i know we can be friends, maybe good friends who can check my english work for me HAHA, in the coming days =)


As for my current life,
.
.
.

i am looking forward to finish all my assignments wtf. -_-ll
write until so much in my blog and while the stupid IDM word document is eagerly waiting for me to finish up.

FICM Good Old Times~

Yesterday class is kinda nostalgic,when it is back to the FICM time whereby only 3 sampat guys in the class.
It is about 2 years ago when all of us come into Taylor's College with those dou deng naive naive,stupid stupid look and now all of us really change hell lot.
(after looking at the picture on the ADV attendance lists HAHA)

I am kinda happy with our class because all of us are sampat.
haha.
sampat people are fun to be with and i wont feel stress with them.
and the 3 malay,indian,chinese guy who is in our class make them seems more 'precious'.
*puking* hope they dont read our blog =p

of cause not forgetting through all the semester how we try to 'manja' with those lecturer and ask them give tips larh (especially Mr Boon from economic class), getting those event done, the first time present in front of the class, getting the bring-it-on spirit when in CRR class.
and then meet new friends in degree programme,mafia and all,
more sampat-ness in the class that make us so popular with noisy-ness.


oh my,i do grow up a lot.
and i started to like the way i live my life,
and how i am fated to be in here.
(or not i supposedly will be UCSI wn swt)

ok~
sudah happy express my thoughts to the world~
back to assignment time~~
YOSH!!~ gambate!

Lazy Bum

Call me a lazy bum or anti social freak,or maybe facebook jakun -_-l

When i got the sudden syok-ness mode oli will update my blog.
and errr....a few days ago i only realise we can do chatting on facebook omg!!!
its like i just saw a magic but actually the whole world know about it earlier.(reali swt).

anyway,m.i.a again.
and currently i am addicted to plurk!!

look at the right side of the bar then you will see it.

deng deng deng   --->

(if anyone interested in knowing my current status la,in case i got admirer HAHA *daydreaming as if it will b real =p *)

it is the second year of my degree and assignments are coming,and
i guess everyone know that we have to be more hardworking and add more substance in terms of writing our assignments.
ya,writing again,damn shit.that's why a bit sot sot right now.
write for a year,and then now start writing again T_T

in a way it is good larh,as in the brain juice will terpercik faster compare to last time when comes to writing =p.

ok,going back to assignment mode.
jia you people!
aza aza!!~~
will go slaugther the assignment asap and i am eagerly waiting for my $$ to shop HAHA.

my boots.
winter wear.
gloves.
sundressy.
*blink*

(slapping self from thinking and focus on assignment dulu!!)