Inspired.

Personally I have struggled massively with the dilemma of talent vs desire. Choosing desire may not always be the easiest thing to do. It may seem a waste to leave those natural talents behind and strike out in a new direction. But at least you’ll feel alive. 

Meri Williams, Talent vs Desire, 05-29-06

Life is cuteness..

i also duno wth is my topic about swt.
just venting again.the last minute POB clas cancellation dont make me happy.
maybe because i still mind the grde for my assignment.

bah~~~~
call me a nerd larh, call me kiasu people, call me damn *itch damn freako girl who study so much and haha get this kinda grade la.
i am really feeling down again.
and for once i get fed up and feel like running away.
never do i feel like running away is such a great solution, leaving everything behind.
but this is just not me.however, i wont stand up like before again.
the self pride is killing me.i know.this is something i get from my family.and i am adjusting it bit by bit.
change my attitude towards my work.
and do my best regardless of the result.

wao,say until like i am such a noble person huh.
well, i havent reach until that extend la.
i am a goddamn nerd that care a lot, indeed study is my first priority when i will kill everybody when they get into my way swt.
chill.chill.i am using hyperbole.
but frankly speaking, is not that i want to be a nerd and disregard all the fun in life, the problem is, i do not know how to enjoy life, as in....
my life is in my hand and i am fighting for it.
i am using rm60k for education and it is hell hard earn money, and i am not wasting it by enjoying my life la of cause.
well, in another perspective, everybody have their own life and here we know how people act and response differently towards the art of life.
at least for now,i am contentted to the current situation and sibeh-ness just come for a few seconds.ngekngek


the same old expectation.
the same old damn shit dissapointment.

sighness....all the cute-ness in my life.
however, feel happy balik when i feel that there's other thing that i am capable of besides being a nerdy zai.
and quite suprised to meet new friends from a steamboat session with lcy's frens.
or more like love rivals pulak swt.


life is so in cute-ness.
maybe when things come less expected is the best, a bliss or a disaster.you name it.


p/s: my blog lack of picture la omg...got so many things i want to show but lazy to take camera. T_T
till next time~~

Sribble

Ya, for the first time i feel like writing.again.
with my blunt english *bah.....~*
but i really beh tahan liao.like volcano gonna explode.
*cough*cough* is some thoughts ok, i am not the old HSL that flared up easily luu. =p
as time goes by,i live with more and more uncertainties.
i need to think about my assignments datelines, my substance, my grades, my future..blabla..
and the word 'substance' keep running on and on in my head.
is growing up a fear?
affirmative i can say.

I am confused with my future.
when my passion contradicts with my natural chrateristic.
i love communication,i love sociology, physchology.
i love the way knowledge is building up bit by bit like a pyramid, and i am gaining something that i never imagine of,
self satisfaction through life appreciation.

arts play an important role in my life now.
i cant live without music,it express better than verb,noun,adjective stuff.
i can just count on it and i never feel better after successfuly play a music piece.

I love to talk,i am talkative, sometimes i am even crazy.
but sometimes for now, i love spending time with myself.all alone.
it gives me the tranquility, the serenity.
and the best companion when i am alone: a book.
i dig in and i explore the world of abstract.
i know myself more.i know sometimes people scare to be alone.
paiseh larh, walk alone like no friend blabla.
but now i know, true friends live in hearts, not with physical existence.
and ya,i learn how to go with the flow.

neither am i thinking or expecting too much for things to happen in my way.
its ok if things come out the other way round, and it i weird how things come back to you when you less expected.

and last but not least,
i miss my beaniez and cm.
a lot.
for a long time, i have been living in my own world and grow up.
but how little i know it will be meaningless without you all.

dear life,
it is weird i am born as a human instead of any other things in this world.
it is a gift and a curse.
something that cheer me up,

Yesterday is history, Future is a mystery.
and today is a present.

that's why it is named as "present"

from KungFu Panda, isn't communication magnificient?

In love......dillemma.

sigh.so frustrated about assignments right now.
but the brain cant stop thinking about guys also T_T
keep floating in my head omg, both of them are too cute to be resist.
and so different at the same time.
for those who watch this Korean Drama, who you think is better le?

Shin Goon, the cool guy that alwats tease ChaiJing and make her feel bad, and then curi curi guan xin her at the back

or.......

Yul Goon, omg this is the first guy with dye hair that i soooo likey.really yang guang feel @_@...his smile melts people and the care he gives....

so who should i choose le
ok,stop daydreaming la omg!!!!!
i should be dreaming of Barack Obama and his economic stimulus package.
and my "beloved" miss Yoges.
(seems so cam oledi,all my daydream become bubbles)

hmmm,i wonder there's really such guy in this world.
and everytime i stress i watch this drama my brain will go TOOT again.
singing the song,swinging the chair like sor poh T_T



now in episode 7......shin goon went to ChaiJing house and laughing my ass off, so sweet and gan cheong looking at them,and how love comes in quietly between them. not forgeting all Chai Jing super clumsy act omg.waiting for this scene above le @_@ .......

stupid Goong.make me got this kinda drama love sick-ness again.

concentrate.concentrate -meditation pose-(while watching Goong T_T )

*slapping self*

Thought-less

Trying to type.
but i lost my word.
shattering thoughts.that i dont want to explain.
neither i want to reveal.
changes keep occuring,and i am in fear.
stress-nya.

Assignments linig up until the end of April.
everyday busy until at night, and then sleep like pig.


p/s: dear robber, if you want to rob me can rob me when i sleep,cause i sure wont wake up, or bother to wake up to catch you because of the tired-ness.

Renaissance

i know i am a lame-mo person. not saying i have no life, but i love the feeling of being a famous stalker.
(people famous blogger, i famous stalker pulak wtf)

ya, going back to the story of stalking, i stalk sweatlee, fourfeetnine and the latest will be pinkpau.
get particular emo-ed by pink pau latest post.
(all with link wan ok,in case apa cakap i curi content blablabla,it is so trend in the internet world for plagarism besides than our assignments haha)

I think i never really have an official annoucement for my erm....a year ago break up.
i just totally shut down my previous blog and ran into a new life,fitting in as soon as possible.
but after a year,i guess now i am ready enough to talk about this.  
to the world, or maybe some sort of having an explaination rather than people keep guessing and discussing my problem behind my back when yam cha session.

Yup, so the breakup of me and wormy (last time i used to call him this name, lame lame,i know)
Back at that time i am still a girl who are enjoying her first love although all signs signals of this disastereous case happen.
Until today,i still cant imagine why this decision will come out...from him.
The reason is because we are tired, and there's no more love within that we can hold on to.
Ya,i keep thinking why oh why, the very person who give me hopes, shed me love, pouring me with sweetness and making me believe in fairy tale,
is the same person who destroy my life in a few second.

Sorry,i know i am still not mature enough back at that time.

I was thinking, if you hang on longer and bare with my immaturity, we can archieve eternity.
You didnt, and i let go.
and after a year, now i see things clearly, and i glad he made the decision that i never dare to make and set us free. 

Sometimes,
breakup is the end of a chapter, and lets continue to the next path way of life.

I am more mature right now, and i am standing on my own without relying on anyone.
I learn to be happy by myself without falling head over heels a person regardless of how much burden he can bae despite the busy-ness of the course.
and the most i get from this,
i have indeed love my family and my friends more.

I never regret loving him and he is indeed a realy good boyfriend back then, that allow me to be myself, and always be there for me, being the one and only tree for me to prevent me from getting hurt.
I love you. I love-d you.
wtf i havent said this word for a year already omg.

and yup, if this ex boyfriend of mine is reading this le (dunno will read anot la, but imagine la ok =p ) , thanks for the memories, and i know we can be friends, maybe good friends who can check my english work for me HAHA, in the coming days =)


As for my current life,
.
.
.

i am looking forward to finish all my assignments wtf. -_-ll
write until so much in my blog and while the stupid IDM word document is eagerly waiting for me to finish up.

FICM Good Old Times~

Yesterday class is kinda nostalgic,when it is back to the FICM time whereby only 3 sampat guys in the class.
It is about 2 years ago when all of us come into Taylor's College with those dou deng naive naive,stupid stupid look and now all of us really change hell lot.
(after looking at the picture on the ADV attendance lists HAHA)

I am kinda happy with our class because all of us are sampat.
haha.
sampat people are fun to be with and i wont feel stress with them.
and the 3 malay,indian,chinese guy who is in our class make them seems more 'precious'.
*puking* hope they dont read our blog =p

of cause not forgetting through all the semester how we try to 'manja' with those lecturer and ask them give tips larh (especially Mr Boon from economic class), getting those event done, the first time present in front of the class, getting the bring-it-on spirit when in CRR class.
and then meet new friends in degree programme,mafia and all,
more sampat-ness in the class that make us so popular with noisy-ness.


oh my,i do grow up a lot.
and i started to like the way i live my life,
and how i am fated to be in here.
(or not i supposedly will be UCSI wn swt)

ok~
sudah happy express my thoughts to the world~
back to assignment time~~
YOSH!!~ gambate!

Lazy Bum

Call me a lazy bum or anti social freak,or maybe facebook jakun -_-l

When i got the sudden syok-ness mode oli will update my blog.
and errr....a few days ago i only realise we can do chatting on facebook omg!!!
its like i just saw a magic but actually the whole world know about it earlier.(reali swt).

anyway,m.i.a again.
and currently i am addicted to plurk!!

look at the right side of the bar then you will see it.

deng deng deng   --->

(if anyone interested in knowing my current status la,in case i got admirer HAHA *daydreaming as if it will b real =p *)

it is the second year of my degree and assignments are coming,and
i guess everyone know that we have to be more hardworking and add more substance in terms of writing our assignments.
ya,writing again,damn shit.that's why a bit sot sot right now.
write for a year,and then now start writing again T_T

in a way it is good larh,as in the brain juice will terpercik faster compare to last time when comes to writing =p.

ok,going back to assignment mode.
jia you people!
aza aza!!~~
will go slaugther the assignment asap and i am eagerly waiting for my $$ to shop HAHA.

my boots.
winter wear.
gloves.
sundressy.
*blink*

(slapping self from thinking and focus on assignment dulu!!)

Ah Sam Hou-Stress-Ah Day Out

I got myself a new hair cut!!!!!!
Ya,i keep xing fen-ing with people and now i am still looking at the mirror 23123213 times a day and figure out how dou deng i am if i ever wear T shirt jeans and go out swt.
Went to Damansara The Curve and had a really good time there.
sam pat ness in uptown,yup,something new =p
Winter Warmer Release Stress Day,plus 3 jakunS
ya now we have grown up and turn out to be 3 bimbo(with brain and intelligence wn ok,not that kind of real bimbo) walking and as usual try all the clothes annoy people and yup,a new MNG bag..AHAHAHA

in Winter Warmer,nice place for afternoon tea,ya,and this is the daydream-of-prince-charming-look

two 'princes' of mine wtf

drama acting time.

NG when we try to pretend the royal palace scene. =p =p

good take ^0^

shopping girls (ya,we evolve from lala shopping bag to bodyshop and MNG)

sorry for the ss-ness,am happy for the bag i bought =D

ngo mei shan sifu

senior ngo mei shan dai zi

dou deng ngo mei shan dai zi

the lcy who always prepare to pose with whatever things that are reachable!!( will make a video next time. ahahahah)

me and the miss m.i.a,plus the rm25.90 platter that make us want to puke with so much of cheese and potatoes -_-ll

my beloved beaniez. *love*

end this post with an unkown aunty posing in front of Nike,and following unkown stranger again swt.

MoMo the emo

this is momo the emo,my new family tree member,he makes me smile with his big mouth,and my mogi still alive ok! (for those who miss mogi hehe)

I love to crap, but sometimes when i open this browser,my mind is busy and multitasking until i forget what to blog,ended up closing this again and again.

I think i did this a few times??
but guess that my blog really dying because of my lazy ass-ness.

sorry people,i am feeling emo on the first day of college.
..
.
.
dotty.
cause uncle simon is not here already T_T

my sandwiches for 2 years T_T
the uncle who always have a friendly smile and make me feel at home,secure although i am in a college that seems so close yet so unfimiliar sometimes for me.
i remember a lot of things that he taught me,really.
about life,reality.
when i was so naive,and he is somehow there for me to listen to my whining,providing me free fruits and make me paiseh.
and the carnival stall thingy.
sigh,there goes the memories.

3months,
and everything in college changes so fast.
no more fimiliar faces,
i guess really kemelesetan ekonomi,
earn a living is hard,yeap.

me myself,
i also can see the changes,
and i am kinda shocked too,
however,
i think people keep changing but we are not realising it somehow.

what i can say is,things keep happening.
good or bad things,
at least now i am handling it carefully without pouring too much of emotion in it,
suddenly think of the song sings by Pussycat Dolls “When I Grow Up”
(aiyo can they dont sing this song so sexily anot,make it emo a bit marh!!blaming their sexiness pulak swt).

Mr Zulkiflee(i hope i spell it right gua..) talk about the introduction thingy,and i just make it a KISS.real KISS.
and it reminds me of my introduction back to FICM.
really omg, i change a lot, in terms of myself, and the way i think,my maturity.
i was a little girl back then.

but now i dont think i am.
for 3 months i have been meditating and hibernating.
although i miss the chance to gain experience in working,
but i guess what i gain is better than what i gain from work,
i am walking up to the life monarchy whereby self realization takes place

so,
as a result,the 3 months meditation works well when my temper is not that bad anymore.
no more ganster hsl,no more hsl the bully,no more hsl the girl who always fan toi.
i remember the poem i read last time named "If"
and the verse that keeps running in my mind.
   If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,"

When i can think for myself when the world doubt me,
and i can stand clearly for what i want,what i dream of,what i aim for.
We must know how to love ourselves before we want to love others,
care for ourselves before we start caring for others,
and things come around goes around,
fair and square.


this poem gives me a different meaning when i am in 20,and i hope those who read it will feel it too.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-by Rudyard Kipling-